Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Book Review: You Can't Make Me


You Can't Make Me (But I Can Be Persuaded): Strategies for Bringing Out the Best in Your Strong-Willed Child by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias

Goodreads Summary:
Turn Conflict into Cooperation. 

Many parents suspect their strong-willed child is deliberately trying to drive them crazy. Difficult to discipline and seemingly impossible to motivate, these children present unique, exhausting, and often-frustrating challenges to the those who love them.

But strong will is not a negative trait. These same children have firm convictions, high spirits, a sense of adventure—all the makings of a great adult. In this book you’ll discover how to channel that passion and determination in positive ways as you build a healthy relationship. Through insights gained from strong-willed people of all ages, you’ll…
·  better understand how their minds really work
·  discover positive ways to motivate your strong-willed child
·  learn how to share control without compromising parental authority
·  apply key tactics to survive a meltdown
·  get practical tips for parents who disagree, blended families, and single parents


Packed with  immediately useful strategies to drastically reduce the level of tension in the home or classroom, You Can’t Make Me shows how you can start today to build a stronger, more positive relationship with your strong-willed child.

Background:
I found this book after searching "strong willed child" in my library's card catalog. We are really struggling with Christopher. He doesn't obey our requests. And we often end up in a power struggle. There is far too much yelling going on in our house, and it doesn't even help. The tension is thick, and I was at a loss as to what to do.

My Review:
This book was just what I needed. It's short and sweet. After a brief explanation of what a strong willed child is and how their minds work, it jumps right into practical strategies to use. The bottom line is making requests vs. demands. And I think that's easier to do once you understand why demands result in power struggles and conflict.

There were some parts that were too Christian for me, including a whole chapter about right vs. wrong, which addressed the Bible's commandment to obey parents. As an atheist, I just skipped those parts. The rest of the book was still very helpful.

I bought this book while reading it because I know it's one I will want to read again. There are some sections on dealing with older children and teens that I'd like to come back to when my son is a little older.

Now I just need my husband to read the key chapters (1-3, and 5), so we can be on the same page with our parenting style.

My Rating: 4 Stars
Understand my ratings.

2 comments:

  1. Oh we have just started to get into this phase with my daughter. I may have to look into this one if not for now for in a few years - Great review!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks. Glad I'm not the only one struggling. :)

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