Saturday, October 24, 2015

It's happening again

Last year in 4K Christopher struggled with behavior. A LOT. He got in trouble constantly, and it turned him into a pretty miserable little person. At the end of February he was essentially kicked out of his daycare. It was a low moment for our family. I cried on the phone to my boss. It was embarrassing and awful.

But then we found a wonderful daycare and the most amazing 4K teacher, and Christopher did so much better. He only got in trouble a handful of times from March through August. He was a happier kid, and I was kicking myself that we hadn't switched daycares sooner. I was just trying to hang on until kindergarten. Frankly, I was just being lazy. Shame on me.

Christopher opening Shopkins on his half birthday.

Christopher started kindergarten in September at our local public school. Almost right away I started getting emails (and even one phone call) from his teacher about his behavior. I am happy his teacher is reaching out. I want to work with her to make things better. I just don't really know how.

We're struggling at home too. I told her I was reading a book to try to come up with strategies for home as well. And then the emails stopped.

For 2 weeks.

I thought maybe his behavior was getting better. I was fearful that maybe she'd given up. Or that she was saving everything up until our parent-teacher conference next week.

And then yesterday I got another email. Christopher has been having behavior problems all week. All week! And today he lost privileges: show and tell, free play, and something to do with 4th grade buddies. She's hoping that will help him behave better in the future.

It won't.

I emailed her some tips based on You Can't Make Me. Strong-willed children will accept consequences just to get their way. Use humor to deflect the situation instead of getting into a power struggle. Be honest about why he needs to do things he thinks aren't worth his time.

I hope I didn't piss her off. I don't want Christopher to make her job harder. But I also don't want my child to be in trouble all the time. My mommy claws came out a bit. I want kindergarten to be a positive experience for Christopher.

And it is. Somewhat.

But I also have been hearing that he's not learning anything (other than Writer's Workshop, which he loves). And that it's "baby school" (in reference to practice using scissors) and that he "sucks at school" (because he keeps hitting people).

I emailed his old teachers to see if they have any helpful tips to share with his kindergarten teacher. And we'll have the conference next week. But I don't really know what else to do.

I just know that it's happening again. My heart sank when I read that email.

I just really don't want to go through all that again.

6 comments:

  1. Oh I am so sorry you (and your son) are going through this. It sounds so tough and totally get that you want school to be a positive thing. Hope the conference next week proves to be a good step in the right direction.

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    1. Thanks, Grace. I received a very helpful email from Christopher's 4K teacher this morning. I'll share it with his current teacher on Wednesday night. I'm feeling more positive today.

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  2. I hope you can figure out some good strategies with the new teacher at his conference. Good luck!

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  3. Oh that has to be so frustrating not only for you but for your little guy. They are so young and they are learning how to interact in a social environment. I find it harder when the class sizes are really large. My son's kindergarten class had 29 students! Yes. That many.
    I wish that I had some words of wisdom for you.
    You're doing a good job momma. Don't doubt that for a second. You're trying and researching and I think that is fantastic. It'll come. Remember, they're still so young and they're learning to be social. (((hugs)))

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    1. Thanks! I'm trying. His class is large as well, 20-some kids. We'll see how the conference goes on Wednesday.

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